Also, forewarning? There is lots of rambling love below the cut. Consider yourself informed. :D
1. Acting on impulses that will surprise no one, I'll give in to my girly hormones to say, "DUDE, THE MICHAEL/RYAN, AKA WHY BOTH CHARACTERS MAKE ME A CRAZY WOMAN CAPSLOCK ABUSER I'M SORRY KEYBOARD." Like you all weren't expecting me to gush hearts at the manlove first and foremost anyway. I mean, come on.
1(a). I've said it before, I'll say it again: I adored the hugs. I adored the hugs a lot. And this is not just because I have burning, close!contact-related thoughts about Michael and Ryan that would probably make Ryan fling himself from the Empire State Building. Really. It's just such a rare thing, seeing Michael express his love for Ryan like that--(the first instance was deleted from Initiation. YOU SUCK, EDITORS, JUST SAYING.)--and I always thought the rareness was unfortunate because Michael has this thing for equating love with cuddling and hugging and physical contact. But OH MY GOD, you all saw Michael's face during hug #1, yes? He didn't want to let go. He wanted to hold Ryan forever and even tightened his embrace when Ryan started squirming. It was beautiful. I, for one, give a big WHOOP and holler here.
Ryan hugging Michael not once, but twice, at the club was lasfjlasjflajdsflkjf! And also asldkfjalsfjljafs!!!!! The end. I don't care that he was tripping high on powder. It was sugar sweet and adorable and made Michael's night, year, and world. Consequently, I was pretty darned stoked as well. I almost hope Ryan has a completely ass day in the near future that makes him start sulking about what utter bitchfucks all women are to him and why, he as the brilliant business school graduate, is subject to so much ironical shit business failings. It could possibly lead to (a) more coke sniffing, (b) further disjointed thoughts, and (c) Ryan falling into bed with Michael, because even through the blanket haze of SNOW, Ryan would have enough sense left to know Michael is the one person who would show him genuine love without question, and he would desperately need that kind of validation on account of, remember: SUPER ASS DAY OF FUCK, I HATE MY LIFE. EVERYONE HAS A BREAKING POINT. ALSO: I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON. WHERE IS THE FIC? And okay, the scenario wouldn't have to be that BAWFEST-tastic, but the now canon drug aspect is perfect for fic. Just look at how happy cocaine makes Ryan and how willing he is to accept Michael's love. AND RECIPROCATE. THE HUGGING. OH, MY SOUL.
1(b). Michael, Ryan and Dwight in Ryan's apartment. Michael and Dwight sleeping over. Ryan saying, "This is a one time thing, you know that right?" Michael saying, "We're going to take off your clothes." ME: THUD. There is a God, and her name is Mindy. Someone build her a shrine so I can pay my respects with cute, perky clothing, bags, and whatever else is on her To Buy list. That is all.
1(c). Michael being Michael and caring enough to protect Ryan from physical and emotional harm throughout the episode -- so, SO good. As much as I flip out over ^all of the above hot(t)ness^, I like seeing, ultimately, the depth of feeling Michael has for Ryan play out in touching, "AW, BE RYAN'S SUPERHERO" moments of concern. I swear, every time Michael launches into Ryan Defense mode I beam on the inside so much my heart goes BOOM. Which means, uhm, I guess I suffered cardio!failure several times Thursday night and still had enough life in me to exclaim, "Your love is beautiful, Michael! Save Ryan from the stone cold office bitch stares! Save Ryan from the pack of angry girls! Never change!"
2. In the world Ryan sees, he is stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center and wearing leather clothes that will last him the rest of his life. Yeah, shades of Fight Club, I went there. Welcome to the collapse of Ryan's industry. I'm actually not sure how I feel about this. I think Ryan deserves some kind of downfall for being an ego-inflated douchebag DUMBASS, but what it ultimately boils down to is that I hurt for him and want for his life to not, you know, blow. Even though his life blowing is hilarious and admittedly one of the primary reasons my heart goes out to him in the first place. My life = so hard.
But really, Ryan is in a terrible place, and I think he realizes that his silent desperation and drug dependence make it near impossible for him to stop the bad decision-making. His situation is worse than it was at Scranton. When he was a Temp, and even a Sales Associate, he was unhappy because he feared his life was doomed to stagnation. He feared he would never ascend the business ladder where he could achieve the professional success he felt in his heart he was capable of, if only he was given the chance to prove his intelligence and worth. Of course, once he was in Corporate, he was given that chance and everything plummeted to SHIT, and folks, I don't care how discouraging stagnation is for self-perception. Tailspins are always, always cause for acute emotional distress and feeling like it's time to start hating yourself with the gravitational force of a motherfucking black hole.
So I really liked that Ryan reached out and (indirectly) asked Michael for help. It may not have seemed like a huge thing, but for Ryan it was MOMENTOUS, especially considering that under most circumstances Ryan does not admit weakness, and certainly not to Michael. I just. ♥ ♥ ♥ I loved seeing Ryan show interest in what Michael had to say for once. It was heart-warming, made even moreso by the fact that the topic must have been hard for Ryan to bring up, period, even under the guise of "SO MY FRIEND... HE HAS THIS PROBLEM". Ryan wants to heal, and he asked Michael to help him get there. I SWEAR TO GOD if that isn't touching, I don't know what is.
In conclusion: I liked this episode bunches. Will watch again. Where's my Ryan Is A Love-Seeking Cokemonkey! fic?