I Reject Your Reality

Leave behind a pistol, Friday.

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:35:20 GMT

Oh my god, it is 9:30PM. I wanted to attend a concert at 8:00PM, but ten minutes before my shift ended at 6:00PM, NBC made me schedule like 40 sports programs. I didn't get off work until 30 minutes ago, so I totally missed the concert. Now I have to watch SGU to revel in my DISAPPOINTING EVENING. What crap.

In other news, I've been reflecting on my involvement in fandom, past and present, so I made a little 'ship list.

I wanted to see the shifts and trends in my pairing preferences over time. The list contains pairings that I feel resonated with me on deeper levels than most, and/or pairings for which I still have strong degrees of emotional investment. It's not a comprehensive list of every pairing I have shipped. It's primarily for me to get an overall idea of my journey through fandom, what I used to like in my OTPs, what I still like, what changed, etc. The pairings are presented on a chronological line.

PAST
⇑

PAIRING	GENRE	CHARACTER TYPE/DYNAMIC	MISC
Justin/JC	popslash	wasn't paying attention to pairing dynamics	it was prolific and *NSYNC so I read it
JC/Lance	popslash	wasn't paying attention to pairing dynamics	it was prolific and *NSYNC so I read it
Harry/Draco	enemyslash	pampered, cowardly egotist/honorable, reluctant hero	two sides of the same coin
Smith/Neo	enemyslash	sarcastic, sociopathic egotist/attractive wooden plank	two sides of the same coin
Clark/Lex	enemyslash	suave, paranoid egoist/attractive wooden plank (Plank is charming in a boyish way)	two sides of the same coin
Tyler/Jack	enemyslash	suave, capricious egoist/emotionally locked doormat	two sides of the same coin
Picard/Q	enemyslash, somewhat :>	flamboyant, capricious egotist/emotionally locked moralist	two sides of the same coin
Olaf/Violet	incest, chan	eccentric, sociopathic egotist/brilliant little girl	antagonistic
Iruka/Naruto	chan	concerned, compassionate mentor/impulsive, loyal smart-ass	bantery
Grimmcest	incest	bitter, practical egoist/fanciful, childlike dreamer	bantery
Hooker/Gondorff	friend'ship	witty, compassionate mentor/impulsive, brash smart-ass	bantery
Newman/Redford	friend'ship, RPS	witty, compassionate fellow/clever, reserved fellow	bantery
House/Wilson	friend'ship	sarcastic, brilliant egoist/compassionate enabler	bantery
Jack/Assad	acquaintance'ship	motherfucking Jack Bauer/reformed terrorist	birds of a feather
Shawn/Lassiter	enemyslash (S1)	sarcastic, neurotic egoist/lighthearted, flippant egotist	bantery
Michael/Ryan	unrequited	socially awkward, childlike egoist/precarious, resigned egotist	unshakeable crush
Hiro/Ando	friend'ship	hyper, childlike geek/loyal, supportive geek	bantery
Beckett/McKay	friend'ship	sarcastic, brilliant egotist/compassionate woobie	bantery

⇓
CURRENT DAY

Conclusion:
I was totally indiscriminate about popslash! Who cares. Apparently I also have an occasional thing for chan. And incest. And unrequited pairings. And fluffy ships. All of my enemy ships are based on the idea of 'two sides of the same coin,' and banter is pretty much a requirement for my friend'ships. Mostly though, what my pairings list says is this: "I now fall for friend'ships more than enemy ships and I prefer ships where at least one character is self-important/selfish/kind of an asshole."

It's interesting to me that the douchey characters are my favorite characters in a majority of my enemy ships, whereas my favorite characters in my friend'ships are almost always paired with the self-important/selfish/kind of an asshole characters. I don't know what that means. But somewhere along the line, I started really liking characters with warm, compassionate qualities who are not themselves abrasive, but who can hold their own against that type of personality. There's something about their ability to understand/connect with even the most standoffish of people which I find really beautiful--estimable, even. And I guess I'm just attracted by the compatibility of those two temperaments: callous individual who bottles up a lot in terms of emotional issues paired with someone who, by nature, has concern for others and can see beyond the prickly exterior. This is of course a general observation. All of my pairings have characters with their own sets of quirks, strengths and insecurities. I could never hope to explain each of their dynamics with such a sweeping statement, but I think that kind of Odd Couple interplay accounts for a lot of my interest in the type of friend'ship I ship, on the whole. (I would even say that the Odd Couple trope is my predominant thing, since even my enemy ships are all metaphors for Yin and Yang, Light and Dark, etc.) :>

Television!

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:07:39 GMT

1. Remember how I used to talk about The Office all the time? Remember how I used to love The Office so much I could have taken it behind a middle school and gotten it pregnant? Do you remember those days? They weren't that long ago. They feel like forever ago, but I quite enjoyed The Office tonight, actually! It really reminded me that The Office's heart is in Michael -- Jim and Pam may be its happily married wittiness, and characters like Dwight and Andy may be its lovably idiosyncratic zaniness, but the central thread of love in this series is carried in Michael and his ability to bring the office together like family when everyone's fragile and needing to be cheered by whimsy. I like that Jim is learning that, slowly. :>

2. Remember how I used to talk about Supernatural all the time? Remember how I used to love Supernatural so much I could have taken it behind a middle school and gotten it pregnant? Do you remember those days? What? No? Yeah, me neither. Supernatural tonight was, be honest, folks, pretty entertaining. LARPers swaggering and speaking all Manly-like! The prized gift card! To Sizzlers. AHAHLJFD Damien and Barnes meeting in an online SPN chat and hooking up HAHAHAH pfffft, kind of amazing!! Except I just had a mental picture of them LARPing in bed with their Christian Bale voices and now my head feels damaged. Okay, it was already damaged. So basically if I take a switchblade to my scalp it couldn't get any worse. Huh. Those kids were onto something.

3. Also I'm drinking Snapple and the cap is telling me that I can burn more calories sleeping than watching television, which I assume means I should strive to sleep less and watch more television because I don't need to burn many calories at all. Also I should eat more potato chips. I didn't get that from Snapple. They're not in the business of advertising potato chips, but they totally should if they want me to drink Snapple after consuming a bag of ten times the recommended daily intake of sodium. See what I did there? Logical thinking. I'm as surprised as you are.

Things

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:23:26 GMT

I bought a thing. It is an iPod Touch and I love it. I kinda suck at typing on the touchscreen though. People keep saying I will get the hang of it, but I have the motor skills of a 5-year-old so it will take over a decade, and actually, 5-year-olds can't hit more than one key simultaneously with their tiny fingers so they are probably better at tapping the right letters anyway. Like, if they know how to spell. That seems like it would be helpful. I had too much leftover Halloween candy. I don't know what I am saying. I love my iPod. I love the multitudes and multitudes of apps at my disposal. I love that many of the apps are SURPRISINGLY FREE. What are some of your favorite apps? It is a great time to share your consumer knowledge and impress me with your Apple!Savvy. Obviously. :>

Other things! I watched "V." OH MY GOD, a good pilot happened. I like that the actors are all pretty decent. I like the computer effects and cinematography and I like that the characters all seem to be doing things in the first episode that make them intriguing and complex, which is QUITE IMPORTANT when it's television and you're trying to convince people that your shiny new remake isn't rubbish. I am, for the moment, convinced. I like "V." The bit about Universal Healthcare was brilliant, and I like that Wash from Firefly was kind of evil! I wasn't expecting that. I should have expected that. The secret meeting scene was clearly building up to the reveal but I was too lazy to be thinking about plot development at that moment. I just instantly trusted that Wash was not a lizard who wants to rule over all this land and call it our grave. Ha ha HA! His is an evil laugh. 20/20 hindsight. OH MY GOD. I also like that there are Resistance Lizards! I love that that one Resistance Lizard is SO IN LOVE with a human lady! There should definitely be more of that. And just, yes. There should be a lot more "V" in the future if it continues to be good.

I am still talking about Stargate

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 09:03:45 GMT

S4 of SGA is consistently distressing. I think I'm not made of tough enough material to watch something as upsetting as Keller head the medical department at the moment. I am having trouble with Keller and her BEARDLESS FACE. Oh! Shocker. Here is a picture of Beckett falling down drunk.

I'm pretty sure it helps with stomaching Mallozzi's weird and confusing executive decisions. Mallozzi should be sorry. HE ONLY HAS HIMSELF TO BLAME.

Also, I am still watching SGU. I am still not digging SGU. I am not hating it, but I am not loving it, either. Mostly the characters are forever in distress so they are very competent at whining and having horrid attitudes. The Colonel is just Boring. Lou Diamond Phillips is still Lou Diamond Phillips from La Bamba. I am kind of fond of Eli. But a quick mental referencing between Eli and Rodney reveals that Eli is actually Rodney if Rodney was less of an egotistical jerk. And the mere thought of having to look at lovely Rodney when Rodney is INSTEAD a pleasantly goofy and humble MIT dropout displeases me enough that I had to abandon the whole notion of falling completely in love with Eli for Eli. It would just be SUBSTITUTION and unbelievably unfair to both of them.

Anyway, I love that the Ancient ship used the gas giant's gravity to fling itself toward a star. The characters all looked so panicky in next week's preview. OMG. Those expressions are new. I am pretty sure next week they will have a nice Freak Out for 45 minutes and then they will all BURN TO CINDERS. Wait, sorry. I don't have a creative license for Stargate yet but I'm working on it.

I am totally not working on it.

But if I was, I wouldn't TERMINATE 90% OF THE CHARACTERS IN THE FOURTH EPISODE. Because I use common sense. Oh wait, no I don't. Hang on, why hasn't Joe Mallozzi begged me to write for his show? Weird.

But the point is that I am not concerned for their safety. Like, the ship will probably absorb solar energy and combine it with the gas giant's atmosphere to create fuel and then OFF THEY WILL GO to be Panicky somewhere else. There's not a lot going on for these guys aside from being Panicky.

YAY MANKISSING

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 22:15:49 GMT

H-H-HO SHIZZAT. Have I mentioned that Beckett/McKay is lovely? OH MY GOD I thought it was impossible to meet my wildest hopes that hi-res pics of the Glorious Duet Scene actually exist but after tedious digging excursions the INTERNET HAS DELIVERED HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT.

If you had to use the horizontal scroll, I AM SORRY. I truly am. Certainly you understand? I JUST. OH GOD.

These images make me happier than ALMOST ANYTHING. ♥ ♥ THE KISS. AND THE BEHIND-THE-SCENES PICS. WITH MCGILLION REACHING TO TOUCH HEWLETT'S FACE OMGOMG.
Clearly McGillion is of the mind to give it Another Go. :>>>

oh. my. god. <33333

*is quite incapable of HIGHER BRAIN ACTIVITY omgomg*

OH ALSO I found these other pictures. They aren't as high quality but they still make me ridiculously happy alsdkfjwelirjalskj; godddddddddddd I am so stupid for them.

I cannot tell you how much I want the photograph they are auctioning. I WANT TO SEE ADORABLE MCGILLION AND HEWLETT HEAD-NUZZLING.

Whoever won the pic has not posted it in every corner of the Internet as it deserves and should be ashamed of their greediness. I CURSE THE PERSON'S COWARDLY NAME.

jf;d;fdjljkfd. Last but certainly not least:

LOVE AND ADORE the poses, OH THEM. But does a hi-res version really not exist on the Internet? I mean, tummy rubbing! McKay on a leash! An appealing scenario in higher resolution, I think you'll agree.

I would be SO PLEASED to find it. But I am not finding it. Which, understandably, means my desktop is not as brilliant as it could be.

Still, the fact that they had this photoshoot is so INCREDIBLY AWESOME. Hee!

I can only end with one thing.

..……… GODDAMN OBSESSION. AAARRRGH. <333

ETA: I lied. Not about the obsession because Jesus Christ but UHM, ONE MORE THING. I quite like that the script makes mention of McKay taking care of Beckett's wee baby turtles.
It is the sweetest Props note I have ever read. Aww. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

I should probably go now and Accomplish Things. Dude.

Celtic fusion recs

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 05:39:52 GMT

I've been listening to a lot of Celtic fusion. So!

New Rigged Ship - The Duhks

Groove Set - The Clumsy Lovers

Busindre Reel - Hevia

Scots on the Rocks - Peatbog Faeries

Dans la lune au fond de l'eau - Tri Yann

Martha Stuart - Enter the Haggis

:>

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 09:27:10 GMT

~~Today~~ Yesterday was my birthday! I went to work! It was the SAME OLD THING. Thank you to everyone who wished me a good one, though. ♥

Meanwhile, Supernatural happened.
Beckett was in the episode for nearly an ENTIRE MINUTE longer than two and he didn't die! This is frankly better than what I had been expecting. I like that Beckett sports the same faux-hawk wherever he goes, although it was VERY DISORIENTING to have him be the American boyfriend of a James Dean idolizer when I am accustomed to having him be Scottish and hopelessly fond of a BATMAN IDOLIZER. I didn't care much for Beckett's James Dean loving boyfriend, is what I'm trying to say. He had thick unsightly Beard Hair, but I am still sorry that his boyfriend was mutilated before Beckett could find the camera because now they can never RP and tape James Dean's Homosexual Conquests in the back of James Dean's fake car.

I said, "AAAARGH! THERE IS BLOOD EVERYWHERE. Necrophilia will never do!"

Also, I can't believe that once Sam and Dean got involved they FORGOT ALL ABOUT BECKETT and left him in a prison cell. Okay, that was a lie. It was like SGA all over again. OF COURSE THEY WOULD FORGET ALL ABOUT BECKETT IN A PRISON CELL. It would be the Logical thing to do.

Other things happened in this episode. I will mention them as things, things, things! Sam cut Paris Hilton's head clear off with an axe and it was completely satisfying. Paris Hilton was the big guest star. I think that was the word on the street. But WHATEVER.

SGU, Smallville

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 07:15:12 GMT

So far I have two favorite things about Stargate Universe: the politician dying, and momentarily forgetting that I am watching Stargate Universe when Lou Diamond Phillips is on screen because his face on my television makes me think of La Bamba to the exclusion of all else. My love of both of these things suggests that maybe Stargate Universe was the WRONG THING TO WATCH this evening. It was kind of dullsville and gave no indication that the characters know how to be anything besides Uninteresting, Annoying, or Lou Diamond Phillips. So. That was disappointing.

But barring a few notable exceptions, when are pilot episodes ever truly good? I don't normally like pilot episodes of anything. Pilots, I have found, are NOTORIOUSLY crap, so I guess I can give Stargate Universe a go for a while. Maybe I'll even learn to like it! I don't know if that will happen but I am not quite ready to make up with Stargate Atlantis so Stargate Universe will have to do.

Eh. But SGU maybe has potential. It is Gritty and it is Darker than the other Stargate series. And if the characters are developed well enough to demonstrate NORMAL HUMAN EMOTIONS AUGH SGA I suspect it will be interesting to watch them deal with the fallout of jumping through that stargate as they get further and further away from home.

I will stick with Stargate Universe, although I am totally prepared for it to become not as awesome as it could be.

I also watched Smallville. Brian Austin Green is hot. I'm assuming that is what the take-home message is supposed to be, given his many minutes of gratuitous SHIRTLESS SCREEN-TIME. Oh my god, Brian Austin Green. I think I am MORALLY OPPOSED to watching 90210 for him, but I might be loser-y enough to watch The Sarah Connor Chronicles if he walks around half-naked more than a bit. THAT IS HOW MY MIND WORKS. Oh my god.

Oh my god, this is like a cry for help.

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:54:50 GMT

So I was sorting through the latest porn shipment at work and it was pretty much like every other shipment in that you're sorry you're not the one being paid money out your asscheeks to come up with titles like There is a Great Big Penis in my Butt!! and I was thinking maybe I should throw myself in front of a train because God hurt my feelings by creating this UNUTTERABLE INJUSTICE, and then I thought, "Wow, there are no trains around here. Maybe I should move to Japan," but then I couldn't even move from my seat because I FOUND 30 ROCK PORN and it was so completely fucked up and awesome at the same time that I kind of couldn't breathe.

Fucking for real, y'all. It's like, everyone got terrible plastic surgery and their follow-up botox injections were actually hits of crystal meth because being high and useless is better than being sober and UGLY, and then they all had sex. I don't think that's the premise but it's probably not far off.

OH MY GOD. I just checked the back cover and the studio also produced The Office: A XXX Parody. Oh my god. Oh my god. AMAZING. So of course it hasn't been shipped to my workplace yet, but holy shit jesus christ ahahahahHAAA.

I bring Office fanart.

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 22:48:43 GMT

Now that the gifters have been revealed for the Office Rare Pairing Exchange over at ipod_ovenmitt (go check it out!), I am making my contribution known! To my journal. I probably didn't have to wait until the final reveal. It was fairly obvious which Thing I Submitted. The anonymous tag hardly fooled anyone, I think. :>

Title: Real Hero
Character/Pairing: Michael/Dwight
Rating/Warnings: PG. Warnings: This is Silly.
Prompt: Michael/Dwight, superpowers
Medium: Photoshop CS4
Notes: Drawn for firthgal, who is absolutely lovely. ♥

Okay, I know the prompt says SUPERPOWERS, but since in Dwight's mind superpowers are synonymous with being a Real Hero like Hiro from Heroes, I decided to draw Dwight being a Real Hero (just like Hiro!) to Michael by heroically protecting Michael from the terrible waffle thief. Which is supposed to be Mr. Muggles, the pomeranian........ also from Heroes alksjdfa;lfj; hahahaa, but I am so not blaming you if you are quite done STRETCHING YOUR IMAGINATION to accommodate my train of thought. Dude.

But yes, I am actually happy with how this picture turned out. :)

Perfectly charming

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 08:42:48 GMT

1. After work I went to drag queen bingo. I had a fantastic time. Obviously drag queens calling out bingo numbers is the perfect strategy to turn the game into something the opposite of terrible boring rubbishness. "It's our favorite O! O69, sauce on the side!" "I18. That's what he said!" OH, YOU GUYS. If I had not already been won over by the place's WONDERFULLY FLAMBOYANT decor, then those few brilliant words would have been enough to do it. So. So! I am thinking I would like to go back sometime. I am also thinking I would like to go not on my birthday. All the birthday people had to bend over a table while a dude in women's clothing repeatedly and VICIOUSLY slapped their asses with a paddle. It looked rather painful and humiliating if the one SHRIEKING WOMAN was anything to go by. OH GOD SHE WAS SO LOUD AND GRIMACE-Y. I don't imagine I am missing much to be skipping that.

2. I have watched this youtube video more times than I have toes and fingers. The editing is awesome and there is MANKISSING. That is not the entire video. The video is just lovely Beckett appreciation, but I am not above selling highlights to entice people into Watching It.

3. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia concert this Friday! THE NIGHTMAN COMETH PERFORMED LIVE HOLY SHIT I am pumped for this. :>

Things! Here are television things!

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 18:56:56 GMT

New Supernatural and Fringe and The Office tonight. I am so pathetically excited for this alskdjfalskj;as. NOT A PEEP, all you people who I previously told that Fringe was of LITTLE INTEREST to me. I watched it over summer and have since changed my mind. That's a rare occurrence. Okay then.

Oh! Oh! Speaking of Supernatural! I am tentatively not as hatey on that one future episode with the special SOUL-DESTROYING GUEST. This is mostly because the episode's imdb page lists another guest who I love more than a bit. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, in case I haven't made myself clear. That the episode will air on my birthday is a lovely present, I think.

This is a pointless post. But seriously, dudes. All of these things make me delighted. :>

LOVELY

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:49:58 GMT

1. I am trying to expand my skill set at the television studio. What I got to do was SORT OF AMAZING,

My plan for today was to learn television encoding from my friend in the digital media department and my friend was all, "Awesome! I'll show you how to Quality Check MGM media files!" so she pulled up the October schedule and sorted the files by the time they were received and initially I was thinking I would get to QC something Halloween-ish like Species or The Amityville Horror but then she was like, "We'll look at this film. It was just added to the server," and I fucking died.

Me: OH MY GOD.

Me: I just saw A Dog's Breakfast a couple days ago. Man, HAHA.

Friend: Oh? I've never seen it. What's it about?

Me: It's about McKay's gay domestic life with Dr. Beckett in another universe.

Friend: What?

Me: No seriously, like the director/main actor in this plays McKay on SGA and he got Beckett to dress in drag and hit on him. Except McKay also tries to murder Beckett in this movie. Probably because he's repressed.

Friend: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Me: You know, they're characters from Stargate: Atlantis. Rodney McKay? Carson Beckett?

Friend: Oh. Who?

Then I drowned her in a water fountain. I'm kidding. We don't have water fountains at work. Kidding again. But not about the water fountains. My friend is awesome and I would NEVER HURT HER, that is what I am saying.

But yes. My friend let me partially QC A Dog's Breakfast for broadcast. I got to see the sausage platter scene on a MASSIVE HD MONITOR. OMG. WOW, I am not cool. But it was nonetheless lovely.

2. I can hardly breathe. I hate allergies. MY SINUSES, DAMBIT. Damnit. Whatever.

3. I am playing Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box. I am occasionally frustrated by its logic, but most of the time I am left with the brilliant realization that I am not Clever enough for a game that is geared toward TEN-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN. I lose so hard. I am still loving it, though.

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 08:56:24 GMT

1. I edited an interstitial! It will air on television, even. I was only given fifteen minutes to create the graphics in Photoshop and find background music and EDIT IT ALL TOGETHER before the deadline. I am sure it is more than a bit crap. But hurrah! I edited an interstitial! It will air on television, even!

2. I have been watching more SGA and apparently I am quite in love with Dr. Beckett. I love his fear of ALL ANCIENT TECHNOLOGY and his Scottish brogue and I love that his heart is always in the right place even if he can be a wee bit ethically flawed in medical practice. I love his friendship with McKay and I just get SAD when Beckett is not in an episode much. Which, you know, bodes badly for me. I accidentally found out about certain developments surrounding his character in S3. It's unfortunate. I don't think I like knowing that I have walked into an emotionally vulnerable position that will inevitably tear me down. Boo. But OH. Oh, I would like to believe it is worth it. I LOVE BECKETT. He is just great.

3. I also watched A Dog's Breakfast, which is that David Hewlett film about David Hewlett getting Paul McGillion to dress up in women's clothing and hit on him. Admittedly, that is not the actual premise but the cross-dressing and homosexual flirting occur with such regularity that it is way more fun to imagine it is so. It is beautiful. And a bit like peering into an ECCENTRIC SGA AU where Beckett tries to win McKay by BENDING OVER in leopard print then serving him huge plates of STRATEGICALLY PLACED PANCAKES AND SAUSAGES.

I am attempting not to think of terrible sausage puns, but it is not working out so great for me. TOTALLY NOT WORKING SO GREAT FOR ME AT ALL.

Here is the youtube clip for it:

This film is so brill.

And continuing with the gay, there is also the whole bit where Beckett dresses as a female police officer and gets to enjoy seeing McKay completely naked.

AND THERE IS ALSO the bit where McKay calls him on it and Beckett just acts INTERESTED AND SKEEVY.

"You saw me naked."

"Oh yeah."

Frankly, I can only approve if the film's going to cater to my love of Beckett/McKay so blatantly.

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 10:22:58 GMT

1. Thanks, everyone who commented on my last entry. Your concern is much appreciated and I love you all like crazy. I AM STILL ALIVE, is also what I would like to mention. My house has not been burned to the ground but the fire is totally still burning and looking SCARIER THAN EVER.

That was a really reassuring thing to say.

The threat to my neighborhood will actually extinguish itself shortly. That photographed portion of fire will run out of fuel once it consumes the rest of the bump, so oh my god oh my god oh my god. When I look out the window in the next couple days I will no longer have to see a WALL OF FLAMES. I imagine it will be a very good feeling. If the rest of California could say the same it would just be the BEST EVER.

2. I have been promoted! I am now a Media Coordinator. I would list the specific tasks the job entails if I had half an inkling as to the specific tasks I will even be doing. I will no longer be pushing huge carts around the building! Hurrah! That's the extent that I can tell you. Also I will have a company BlackBerry so the networks can contact me WHEN I AM SLEEPING to say their media is missing. That bit is perhaps not so good.

The Station Fire

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 07:25:48 GMT

So The Station Fire is still eating our mountainside. For awhile it looked like the fire was burning away from my neighborhood, then it funneled down a ravine and crested the other side and now it is closer than ever. The triple digit temperatures, steep terrain and abundant dry brush make it literally impossible for ground firefighters to approach the blaze. We're solely relying on aerial support. Which, of course, can only do so much to slow the fire's progress since choppers only make water drops during the daytime when the billion degree weather DRIES IT ALL UP before the next chopper makes a pass. The fire currently stands at 0-5% containment. It's just awesome.

Having said all that, at least there is no Santa Ana wind propelling the CHARRING FLAMES into my bedroom. The air is still, and the fire slow burning. Relatively few structures and lives have been lost so far, because of that. I consider this a thin, if still UNNERVING, silver lining.

Around late afternoon is when the flames really started kicking up. It caused escalating concern for the residents nestled against the foothills.

*shudders*

Not including any after dark images in this post but suffice it to say without the choppers to suppress the fire it looks like a raging conflagration from hell is RISING ON UP at the moment.

I wish my icon was not so literal.

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 08:45:57 GMT

Oh, for fuck's sake. Today is not totally my best. I collapsed in front of the television so work could be forgotten and ALL COULD BE WELL but then my dog popped through the doggy door and started sneezing and rubbing her face on the floor with an urgency that made it look like she was diseased and insane.

"You got into the cobwebs again, didn't you?" I told her, pausing the DVR.

My dog sneezed.

""It's like -- you'd think you would learn to avoid that part of the yard."

RUBBING HER HEAD ALL OVER THE FLOOR. VIOLENT SNEEZING.

"Fuck, what in the wor--" And then the smell hit me.

"Ohmygod," I yelped. "Ohmygod. OH MY GOD, you got sprayed by a skunk AGAIN?"

DOG RUNNING AROUND THE LIVING ROOM, SNEEZING FOUL SKUNK STENCH ON THE FLOOR AND FURNITURE. RUNNING INTO THE DINING ROOM. THE KITCHEN. SNEEZING EVERYWHERE THAT WAS ONCE PURE.

OH MY GOD. SPRAYED BY A SKUNK. This is the second time she has scampered right up to be doused in punishment.

My father, at this point, after he let out a frustrated, "DAMNIT," managed to drag her onto the patio away from the house's interior, but my eyes had already started watering tears of acid, and my mother had started ripping through every cabinet in search of all the ingredients for the skunk scent removal bath.

("Where is the hydrogen peroxide? There used to be a bottle here, under the sink!"

"Mina, check the master bathroom."

"OH, AWFUL. THE SMELL. OH. GOD. I WILL OPEN THE WINDOWS."

MINA, WHERE IS THE HYDROGEN PEROXIDE?")

We couldn't find the hydrogen peroxide. So I went to the store and purchased three bottles and also a canister of Febreeze and an assload of Glade plug-ins. I drove home, helped mother prepare the bath, helped mother scrub the dog twice and then again with shampoo for good measure, then Febreezed away the offending odor.

The End.

If The End means it gets so MUCH WORSE.

After bathing the dog, my mother went inside to close some of the windows. A minute later I heard her shout for my father. He disappeared into the house. I followed.

As it turns out, one of the windows mysteriously BROKE AND WOULDN'T CLOSE.

And the light bulb in my bathroom mysteriously DIED.

And also the drainpipe under my sink mysteriously FLOODED THE ENTIRE BATHROOM.

FLOODED MY BATHROOM. How do you go about breaking a drainpipe while searching for hydrogen peroxide to be used in dog shampoo? I can't believe how rubbish and Really Bad Film this is.

Also my house still smells like burnt rubber coated in Febreeze mixed with all the ODORS FROM HELL.

This is stupid. This is the worst. THIS COULD NOT GET WORSE.

It could actually get worse.

About an hour after the skunk fiasco, I received a reverse-911 call to maybe PLAN FOR EVACUATION because this is what the nearby mountainside looks like from my room.

The fire has been burning for a couple days. It has been burning on the other side of the mountain. Not facing my house. Awesome, because now it is totally facing my house. It is RAINING ASH, DUDES.

Still, I don't think I am in grave danger. The fire has to burn through a whole other town before reaching my doorstep. That's comforting. God. Today is everything that is bad.

WHY DIDN'T I WRITE DAILY ACCOUNTS OH GOD OH GOD. Here is my Star Trek Con experience. Finally.

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 05:28:05 GMT

SO. STAR TREK CON 09.

Kicked off with me going to the convention center, which was as empty as a fucking. vacuum. No one was there except a handful of people selling and buying Chinese pottery and as much as I think Chinese pottery is Pretty I wasn't appreciating the art because I was kind of NOT BREATHING, is how distressed I was that the vendors weren't selling made up alien artifacts. Obviously the vendors couldn't just magically cloak the entire convention with urns. Star Trek is science-fiction... not wizardry. This is the most basic of things. So I checked my ticket and it was all, "Yeah. You don't know how to read. Moron."

It didn't actually say that. I totally read the ticket incorrectly earlier so a few extra words popping up to mock my illiteracy is just Expected.

Fun fact: The Star Trek Convention was at the Hilton. I got that from the ticket after it called me a moron. I am so glad I learned how to read, dudes.

I am actually prepared to talk about the Star Trek Convention from here on out. This post is image intensive.

There will, however, be fake pumpkins.

This was one of the first things I saw in the vendor room. THE CORRECT VENDOR ROOM, JESUS. At the Hilton. The geeky artistry was a welcome and relieving sight. That is what I am saying. And, holy shit, these things were actually carved. I'm pretty sure they were cut with modulating plasma pulses because LOOK AT THE ACCURACY AND DETAIL AND SHADING.

The vendors were having a raffle for a free pumpkin carving. Any Star Trek character of your choosing if you win! I didn't win. But had I won I would have requested Locutus. I don't know where I would have stored Locutus in all his PUMPKINY GLORY, but OH, OH. Oh, look at that marvelous Borg technology. I love Patrick Stewart. His carved pumpkin was Rather Impressive, like the work of God.

I stared at it QUITE A BIT, only to look at my watch and discover that I had about fifteen minutes to explore the dealer hall before the first panel. Because this is the kind of thing that happens when you make unexpected detours to China. Okay.

Other various Star Trek artistry that I spied within the allotted timeframe.

Some of these paintings were extraordinarily well done. I was a big fan of the autographed Captain montage. The dude with a command uniform admiring the picture just sort of added to the whole Worship effect going on. :>

SPEAKING OF UNIFORMS.

These guys were a lot of fun. I ran into them outside the panel room RIGHT before the event and had to take their picture. That lady had what needed to Be Had to pull off Seven cosplay. And hee, SCOTTY. He was so convincing and great!

I don't have much else to say about the dealer hall. There was Geeky Stuff, some of which I bought later like a decloaking Bird of Prey mug that magics the ship invisible with hot water and and! Maybe I also bought a t-shirt or two. And some badges...... and pictures. And a signed plaque of Picard. That last purchase was QUITE IMPULSIVE of me, but it was only because I love Picard so much, and I really do not mind his face being on my wall.

The plaque is at least flatter than a pumpkin. Don't be judgey, dudes.

So, yes.

I spent some amount of time in the dealer room both days I was there but most of my time was spent attending panels.

I attended a lot of panels.
The first panel I went to was for a TOS actor. I will give you a hint. His character's name is Sulu.

I felt very happy to attend George Takei's panel first. The man has such infectious energy and charisma, and he TOTALLY pumped the audience for a weekend of Star Trek. Myself included.

STAR TREK FANS ARE WONDERFUL. YOU GUYS ARE WONDERFUL. He said something to that effect. Honestly this was like five days ago. My memory is not THAT GOOD, but he seemed genuinely touched by our attendance and he answered audience questions thoroughly and always with a twinkle in his eyes.

My favorite answer was for a Psych-related question. Someone from the audience said he was a big fan of Psych and he wanted to know what it was like for George to have worked with James Roday and Dule Hill. George said James was very talented and serious about his craft and that Dule Hill was more easy going, but mostly what George had to say besides THEY ARE TALENTED AND GREAT was that on Psych he Played a Character, and that character's name was George Takei.

It went a bit like this.

George Takei: For those of you who haven't seen the show, I was on an episode of Psych that took place at a comic convention.

GT: The character I played was named George Takei. That George Takei is nothing like the man on stage right now. The only thing we had in common is a love of blueberries.

GT: I LOVE BLUEBERRIES. I can get blueberries anytime of the year because of global trade. IT IS WONDERFUL unlike the character I played who is POMPOUS and DEMANDING and based on an old coworker I know.

GT: POMPOUS AND DEMANDING.

GT: I am not saying a name, but that coworker was George Takei's inspiration for being particular and ordering everyone about. I had a lot of fun on Psych making fun of that certain somebody. *beaming*

.... which was, I thought, a really amusing answer. I have a whole new appreciation for that episode now that I know he was just MOCKING a Certain Somebody. Oh. I can't keep this up like Takei can. Shatner. He was poking fun at Shatner, and the audience laughed right along with him. MIGHT HAVE TO WATCH the episode to get the full effect but really I think the mental image of Takei using signature Shatner gestures and intonations might be good enough to get the point across. :>

Here are a few other photos I took during the panel. From the middle of the auditorium. Thank god for telephoto lenses. THANK GOD.

I surfaced from the panel, lost track of time and then missed like, 3/4 of the NEXT one. Baww, but the sandwich I had for lunch was good. That's nice.

CHRISTOPHER LLOYD. He played Klingon Commander Kruge in Star Trek III.

I don't remember half of what he said, but he couldn't remember half of what he wanted to say anyway so I don't think it is fair to fault my memory, entirely.

His favorite ice cream is Rocky Road.

His favorite question to answer is not "what is your favorite question to answer."

I don't think you guys appreciate how hard I am trying to dredge up these gems for you.

He refused to let a woman examine his butt. Her actual question was, IS THAT A STAR TREK INSIGNIA ON YOUR BACK POCKET? CAN YOU COME CLOSER SO I CAN SEE IT??? And Christopher Lloyd looked at her and then looked at the audience like he didn't even know what to say to someone with an ass fetish and then he was all, "Yeah, you know what, I don't think I am here for that."

Because this is fucking Vegas, y'all.

And that is really all I can tell you about his panel because I was too busy staring at his ass. Kidding. I don't like geriatric men. Kidding again. Ha ha. Actually he looks like my grandfather so that I am even joking about this is inexplicably fucked up and inconvenient. Gee.

SOOOOOO.................... isn't Voyager great? Voyager is the best. VOYAGER IS LOVELY AS LOVELY CAN, oh. I have yet to watch the entire series but I was interested enough to attend the Voyager panel. By which I mean the last five minutes of the Voyager panel. I nearly missed it entirely because I had purchased a ticket to get George Takei's autograph and I was standing in line for one and a half days.

It was only one and a half hours but I get bored a lot if I am just STANDING ABOUT so I'm pretty sure that's what one and a half days feels like to normal people. THAT LINE WAS RIDICULOUS OH GOD it was like it was never going to end.

Here are pictures of the Voyager panel! I hope they make up for how I will not be able to tell you anything about this panel at all.

It looks like Tuvok is having a nice fart and that Neelix is Retaliating in the last picture. I think I just ruined that photo for everyone, but it is the best narrative I can construct since I am BASICALLY forced to go by the pictures. But honestly, despite having missed a MAJORITY OF WHAT THEY WERE SAYING, it was obvious that they were all genuinely in love with each other. The Doctor and Neelix were especially in love with each other. Oh god. Their banter was beautiful and EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD. Clearly my inability to cite specific examples is the problem here. Oh.

OH.

I will just have to TURN THE UNFORTUNATENESS around! I saw Zachary Quinto on Sunday and managed to get his autograph after 2 and a half days.

Wait. 2 and a half hours. He was very polite considering I was like the 600th person in line FUUUUUUCK. I even managed to be there for his entire panel. So "yay" me, because this is an improvement. I was a Good Samaritan who didn't want everyone to hate me with their fists for missing photo opportunities. You're welcome.

So first of all, I am rather proud I managed to snap the last one without the auto-focus BLURRING IT UP severely. Well done, camera! Secondly, OH GOD, ZACHARY QUINTO OH GOD OH GOD.

That is what the auditorium sounded like for a bit at the beginning. HI, ZACHARY. OH GOD.

But it was really fun, if not intimidating, to be surrounded by such vocal appreciation. IT WAS INFECTIOUS, I TELL YOU. And apparently one girl contracted the high so badly she went up to the mic and totally forgot what she was going to ask. She was like, "Hi, uhm. OH MY GOD. Uhm............... *high pitched squeal* UHM." and Zachary was all, "Are you okay?" and then she squealed again. Like, twenty additional times. And then I guess he took pity on her UNCONTROLLABLE SHAKING and went off-stage to give her a hug. She squealed even louder after that. AHAHAH, fangirls. It was great.

Also I'm pretty sure another one of the girls asking questions was a Pinto fan, because her question was something to the effect of, I LOVE YOUR PERFORMANCE AND ALSO CHRIS PINE'S YOU TWO ARE AMAZING PLEASE TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE SCENE TOGETHER. GIGGLE. To which Zachary immediately responded, "Don't complement Chris; he isn't here!" Ffffff. Apparently his favorite scene with Chris is the scene on the bridge where Spock kicks Kirk's ass. So, spoiler alert: Zachary enjoys erotic asphyxiation and he likes to top. I'm sure that is the appropriate interpretation. :>

After Zachary's panel there was Little Boy Spock. LITTLE BOY SPOCK! I love Little Boy Spock.

He was absolutely adorable. And fourteen years old. I am totally not kidding.

He looks ten or twelve at most. It isn't just me, right?

Fourteen years old.

He wants to do stage work, and apparently he had never seen a single episode of Star Trek before he was cast for the part. That is CRAZINESS, but I am willing to be forgiving because he is pretty much the cutest fourteen year old alive. I could just pinch his cheeks and coo at his little face for hours Iwillstopbeingdisturbingnow.

The last event I attended was the William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy panel, but William Shatner was the only person on stage for the first twenty minutes because he is so awesome scheduling doesn't apply to him. I assume.

He was Loud and he gestured a lot. All in all, very entertaining. And wouldn't you know, he went to a Jonas Brothers concert with his granddaughter! I love that he just came right out and said it in his Self-introduction Spiel, and I can't believe he went on talking about the Jonas Brothers and their commitment to concert performances for a good FIVE MINUTES. I cannot go on talking about the Jonas Brothers for more than three sentences. I reached the end of my tolerance right there, so instead of testing my stubbornness with OBVIOUS FOOLISHNESS I am going to tell you that Shatner's egotism FORGES BLINDLY ON.

In his case I don't think it is necessarily a Bad Thing. I think it is perhaps simply definitive of him and endearing in a really inexplicable way. But, yes. As of Sunday evening Shatner had still not seen the new Star Trek film. And everybody booed and he was all,"OH WHATEVS, can you imagine ME going to a theater?" And that seemed to shut everyone up because, Oh, awk-ward, no one actually could. :>

Shatner was Going On about JJ Abrams and his HORRIBLE BETRAYAL for quite a bit, and then that OTHER GUY suddenly manifested on stage, and they hugged and it was lovely.

They are so lovely!

AWWWWW. :>>>> I just adored how comfortable and carefree they were in front of everyone.

And I loved that they alternated between being very jovial with each other and being Jokingly Bitter with each other quite effortlessly!

I loved that Nimoy attempted to guilt trip Shatner into seeing the new movie by saying as a supportive friend that is JUST the thing Shatner should do. And I loved that Shatner continued playing up his disapproval of JJ Abrams anyway. And that he did an impression of Nimoy on the phone with JJ that sounded a bit like, OH YES, YOU WANT ME TO BE IN YOUR MOVIE, WHATEVER YOU SAY, OH YES YES YES. Obv you should read the impression high-pitched girly!tone-like. And then Shatner called Nimoy a whore and ran around the stage. It was alarming and beautiful at the same time.

^ This is where he called him a whore. FFFFFF.

And this is where they went right back to being adorably happy in each other's company.

Tell me they didn't make your day better. I won't believe you. They are just TOO SMILEY AND GREAT.

You know what else is great? When you think an event is over but then you get surprise appearances and so you have to struggle to get your camera out and take decent pictures before the amazing opportunity goes away. I totally screwed up the amazing opportunity. That's not what's awesome. The awesome part is just that they all looked so cute standing in a row.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER, DUDES.

That's all until next year. PHEW. <3

Star Trek Con!

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:13:41 GMT

Dudes, there were hundreds of people snapping photos at the Star Trek Convention. I am sure it is near impossible for all of those people to be as lazy about resizing images as I am, so I am confused why there are not THOUSANDS of photos on the Internet yet. I was rather hoping there would be. I would like to see images by people who intelligently READ THEIR CAMERA MANUALS. Not that my photos turned out rubbish. They could have been sharper, is just what I am saying. :>

Shatner and Nimoy's panel was just delightful. And, I had a pretty good time at the convention on the whole! I will make a huge post later with lots of STORIES and PANEL RECAPS and PICTURES. It is coming, dudes. I have an ambition to Get It Done.

Can I call you Dick?

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 08:17:46 GMT

Okay! Here is a thing I discovered. I am quite impressed with Hung. This is that HBO comedy about the well-endowed dude who is tired of his UGLIED UP financial and professional misfortune so he decides he is going to Prostitute Himself. If you feel immediately judgey about how anything with a plot like that could be remotely good, then at least you are wisely cautious. I totally thought the show would be shit. You know. Or so superficially vapid I would have no choice but to exclaim, HEY, HEY, MEANINGLESS SEXCAPADES; IT IS TRUE BLOOD ALL OVER AGAIN, DUDES.

The point is, as far as I can tell, Hung is great and not a PORNO! That is nice considering that the main character is a part-time ho. There is still sex, obv. I am just saying there is not as much sex as I expected there to be, and when there is sex, it is filmed in a delightfully wry manner that captures the man's discomfort or BOREDOM or ignorance re: how to properly please women with things that are not immediate penetration. It is unapologetically satirical and occasionally awkward and clearly I think this is a step in the right direction if a show about hitting rock bottom and having to resort to whoring is to show any sex at all. It's like, oh my god you dudes, Hung uses sex as an actual plot devise. I like Hung quite a bit in that regard.

I like Hung so much.

I like that Ray is completely clueless about fulfilling women sex fantasies and I like that the women can never make up their minds and I like that everyone from every socioeconomic background in this show is just kind of STRUGGLING AND LOST IN THE WATER. It's well-scripted commentary for the times with humor that alternates between being bitter and hopeful for a better economic future, and ultimately, for happiness and stable connections between individuals. I think that's the part that really appeals to me, that politically, Hung reflects our current state of affairs and creates this society of people who are all deeply displeased with their accomplishments and relationships, but who attempt to improve their situations the best ways they know how. It just happens that Ray's key to a Better Life is his Tool. It is enormously entertaining. The concept, I mean, but I am convinced the Tool itself is likewise so.

Oh! And! The actual cast of characters is great too. I like Ray and his snarky voice-overs. I like Ray's lady pimp and her poem bread. Mostly she is just brilliant and her relationship with Ray is FANTASTICALLY engaging to watch. I also like Ray's neurotic ex-wife. The character is just appalling and shallow and STRANGE but the actress is so entertaining I don't have it in me to hate her. Ray's children are sort of confusing me. I don't see the family resemblance. Like, at all. I cannot even stretch my imagination and see them being related, but the relationships play out well so I guess I should NOT COMPLAIN too much. Worse sins have been committed, I am sure.

I will be sticking with Hung for the second season. It is probably my new favorite thing.

A Cappella Music Post

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 07:25:07 GMT

It's that time again. A cappella music sharing time!

Michael Jackson Covers

As tribute to Michael Jackson, have some really really good a cappella covers. Probably you are all tired of Michael Jackson covers. I certainly cannot blame you, but these are really QUITE IMPRESSIVE, so I am putting them up for grabs. :>

Brandeis VoiceMale - Human Nature

Fork - Smooth Criminal

Hyannis Sound - Thriller

The Fault Line - The Way You Make Me Feel

Misc. Covers

University at Buffalo Buffalo Chips - Viva La Vida

The MIT Logarhythms - Get Over It

Tufts Beelzebubs - Linger

The Penny Loafers - How to Save a Life

On the Rocks - Never Gonna Give You Up

SORRY. COULDN'T HELP MYSELF AT THE END A;SLKDFJLA.
IT'S A CATCHY COVER THOUGH, RIGHT?

If you have trouble downloading these, let me know and I'll upload to another server. Otherwise, enjoy!

I am TOTALLY out of my Vulcan mind

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:16:48 GMT

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

That is ACTUALLY what I found in the mail today after I got home. Oh, best. Best, best, best! I love arrch so much. I can't believe how understanding and beautiful he is to have gotten me Karl Urban's lovely autograph.

Oh god, arrch, HOW ARE YOU SO UNDERSTANDING AND BEAUTIFUL? Thank you. Seriously. Oh my God, thanks. Words cannot express how happy I am. I am totally beaming! ♥

I also received my Star Trek convention ticikets today in the post. Mostly I am so giddy I can't really type. I love today, dudes!

I am most truthful when I don't know WHAT I AM SAYING.

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 01:29:50 GMT

So last night I went to a bar with my coworkers and we started talking about The Office only I couldn't remember all of the characters' names because this is what happens when you drink on an empty stomach.

ME: SERIOSULY OU GUYS, what is that--? THat character's name? Michael's new love ineterst, Ryan. *pauses * AMY. Ryan, Amy Ryan.

COWORKER: *makes strange face* Uh, Holly?

ME: TAHNK YOU. Holly. That is totally it!

And then I drank more beer because remembering her name wasn't terribly gratifying. I didn't actually drink more beer. I called Ryan Michael's new love interest when there is absolutely nothing New About It, so clearly I was inebriated ENOUGH at that point. Dude. Also I am quite glad Amy Ryan's last name is what it is. If she was Amy Smith or JOHNSON I would not have been able to hide my Mistake so easily. It would have been TRULY HORRENDOUSLY EMBARRASSING, I imagine. Gee.

ANYWAY. No, I think that's all I wanted to say.

OH! I am getting promoted! I don't know to what. Even the company hasn't figured out my soon-to-be job title but I will no longer have to schlep tapes everywhere. That's something.

Things

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 19:27:37 GMT

1. If you like The Office and Star Trek and Michael being lovely to Ryan, and Dwight being lovely to Science-Fictional Correctness, you should read New Civilisations by spiny. It is perfect the way the Borg would be perfect if they had a sense of humor and breakfast together every morning although I'm not sure what they would possibly eat. Beets. Well done, supplemental commentary! This fic is geeky and great.

2. I saw The Patriot after years of completely forgetting The Patriot ever existed. I am still pleased that Jason Isaacs lived solely to hone his knifeplay skills on Mel Gibson. I can think of no nobler cause than angry British/Colonial hate sex. What I am less pleased about is that *spoiler alert* the hate sex never happens. Oh. Badly done, The Patriot. Eventually America would have won its independence anyway. I can't justify how Mel Gibson being crap about hate sex makes victory any sweeter. Whatevs, The Patriot! But dude, ye Americans. Happy 4th of July. :>

BAD, BAD, BAD

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 07:20:08 GMT

1. Have you played Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings on the Wii? Have you? I assume you haven't. There is no way you can play Staff of Kings and be so exceedingly silent when Staff of Kings is so exceedingly terrible. It is the worst Indiana Jones game I have ever played. Wow, Staff of Kings is rubbish! The combat system is ENTIRELY MOTION BASED and insensitive to player input and it is FRUSTRATING. You can't hit things! You just THRASH ABOUT MADLY and sometimes Indy pities your epilepsy and takes a swing but mostly he just faces the wrong direction or he drops items or he DIES. It is stupid. It is the WORST. And I hate so much that the game is PREJUDICE AGAINST LEFT-HANDED PEOPLE. The controls are nearly impossible to begin with but then add on that I am dominantly left-handed while Indy is dominantly right-handed so everything I make him do on screen appears completely backward and defiant. Ohhh, bad, BAD, BAD. I am so over Staff of Kings. LucasArts should be ashamed.

2. I watched the Sci-Fi original movie, Star Runners. I like the bit where JKL pulls out the heavy artillery and starts blasting things and I like that he doesn't even pretend not to be Ando in Space. "Sidekick?" OH, BEST. I love Ando so much. But the main thing I want to say about Star Runners is that Star Runners is bad. Clearly "bad" is this post's theme. Star Runners is the worst idea that humanity has ever conceived. It is worse than Staff of Kings! That is how bad it is.

OH GOD.

HOW BAD WAS STAR RUNNERS?

It didn't even feel like I was watching a movie. It was more like watching actors say words on set and then watching them say words on another set and then ANOTHER SET and blah blah blah more words came out and then there were aliens. The minute the shuttle crashed on the backwater planet with the humongous decapitating bugs, I wanted everyone to get all headless so the movie could stop prematurely and I could stop being so completely bored. WHATEVER WAS EVEN HAPPENING IN TERMS OF PLOT AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT? Beside the fact that the characters were running from Evil British Military People, I am not convinced the script had much of either. I quite like that at least Ando had the good sense to notice the lack of substance and that he BLEW HIMSELF UP within a few minutes of crashlanding to be rid of it all. His death was the most liberating thing that could have happened. I was really quite glad. And then I turned off the television and I was beyond delighted. Oh, I love when Ando makes me happy. It is just the best. But the movie was still terrible. I couldn't even bring myself to watch the end of it so I know in my heart that this is so. Oh God.

How was your weekend?